Kimberley Godsall may seem like your average single working parent, but there’s something that sets her apart from the rest. Although she welcomed her first child in 2019, the 38-year-old Tunbridge Wells, Kent resident is still a virgin. According to Daily Mail, she is still saving herself for marriage.
Kimberley, who spends her day working as an exam tutor and raising her toddler, says she is now used to the unsolicited jokes thrown at her. “I’ve already heard all the jokes from friends, about my ‘immaculate conception’ or how Scarlett and I should be the stars of the Nativity play, and I’m not offended by any of it; I see the funny side,” she explained.
“Obviously, I realize I’m unusual, which is why I explained at my first appointment with the midwife that I had never had sex and asked if it was going to impact the birth. I was kind of reassured when she said: ‘No, it hurts anyway,'” she shared. “That’s what I’d thought. Obviously, the size of a baby’s head doesn’t compare to any man’s appendage, whatever he may think.”
Now, Kimberley has been on a number of dates before giving birth at 35 but she still hasn’t found the right man. Like many women, she found herself wanting to be a mother despite not having found a partner who would share the journey with her. But unlike them, she decided to remain “traditional” and remain a virgin until her marriage.
“I realize it’s a romantic view of life. But from a young age, I knew that while I wanted children, I only ever want to have sex with the person that I’m going to marry. So I felt I’d failed when I wasn’t married by my mid-20s,” said the mother, who isn’t religious. “I don’t judge other people for having lots of sexual partners — they can do what they like with their bodies. And I wouldn’t expect my partner to be a virgin, that doesn’t bother me either, this is just what I’ve always wanted for myself,” she noted.
Most of her relationships were short-lived, with the longest two relationships lasting 3 months. She broke things off after realizing she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with them and feared that the longer she dated, they may have been pressured her into sharing more than a kiss and a cuddle.
As her search for a good man continued, she realized that her years of fertility were slipping away. “For as long as I can remember I’ve longed to be a mum and with every year that passed I felt my biological clock ticking louder. I couldn’t bear the thought of living my whole life without ever fulfilling that dream of having a child,” she shared. Thus, she chose to fulfill her wishes of being a mom and she has no regrets about her decision.
While at the Care Fertility Clinic in Tunbridge Wells, Kimberley learned that “women having babies without ever having sex was much more common than anyone would imagine.” “There are some couples who don’t have a sexual relationship, usually due to trauma of some kind, but still want children,” she added. Soon Kimberley would undergo several rounds of IVF before finally becoming pregnant in 2018. In February 2018, she gave birth to her daughter, Scarlett, and she couldn’t have been happier with how her life has panned out.
Representative cover image source: Getty | Photo by Thanasis Zovoilis